i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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