He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Please don't give away my fajitas
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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