I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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