mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
