She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
