:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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