It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
