omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
