the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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