Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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