So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I bet he comes in French.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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