Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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