the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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