my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So squirting runs in the family.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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