forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
