Having a random hookup so left but love u
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
