we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize