every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
