insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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