She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
