party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
