There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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