I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
