I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize