Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
