I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
whose parrot is this?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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