No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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