They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
