we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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