We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
