the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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