ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
