sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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