Soap is not a condiment
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize