she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i will never coherently bang her
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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