Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
