Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize