In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Be still, my beating vagina.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
