Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
