so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
