He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
