so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
