the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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