YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
