dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
