The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i came on her dog
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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