Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
