omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize