I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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