cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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