i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
