I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
