If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
