You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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