Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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