So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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