Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
