if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
