Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
