just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
