Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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