Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
third nipple confirmed
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
