Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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