I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
