That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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