I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
