you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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