fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
