Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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