Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
