you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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