Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
