I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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