I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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