Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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