your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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