i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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