the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
