I looked at my own cervix.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize