my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
