everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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