um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Randomize
